We come with all these parts and no instructions how they go together. Mark Nepo.

During lockdown we got engaged, and now we've set a date in September 2021. It's all very exciting. 

But setting the date has sent me into 'goal mode'. And the thing I've really been struggling with is what size I want to be and what I want to wear.

We are living in uncertain times. At the beginning of lockdown, we understood what was expected of us. There was certainty. As we move further into easedown, it is uncertainty that is taking hold. And for many of us that represents a challenge. 

I found this wonderful quote from Joseph Campbell, who worked in the field of myth and religion and gave us the The Hero with A Thousand Faces and the Hero's Journey. He said "We must be willing to let go of the life we've planned so that we can have the life that is waiting for us." This seems even more relevant than ever in our Covid-19 world. 

I want to talk to you about killing time. Aimless. No motivation. Avoidance behaviours (in my case, they include comfort eating and shopping). Another way of describing this state is LIMBO.

A dear friend introduced me to this little poem a couple of years ago. I was reminded of it recently and thought it would make a great New Year's share. 

I've decided to 'out' myself. I'm an Imposter. I suffer from one of the most common issues that my clients bring to me. So I want to let you all know that I'm one too :)

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." Will Durant.

Sometimes it can take me ages to get started with a blog post. I distract myself with looking for nice images and relevant quotes. I over-think it.

"If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change." Michael Jackson.

This quote popped up in my Five Minute Journal App a few days ago. It struck a chord with me: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin.

I was having a conversation with a dear friend about poor impulse control (in the context of food). She and I have often talked about the kind of exercise we enjoy, and the subject of cycling came up. Ironically, we immediately visited our local charity bike shop and purchased two very cheap second-hand bikes!

No, I'm not Paul McKenna! 

My Notes from the Universe have a habit of landing just when I need them most. Well, of course they do, that's The Universe in evidence. Today, my Note read: "Meriel, whatever you think someone else is thinking, they're probably not. But they are receiving signals about what you think they're thinking, Meriel... and these signals could change what they’re thinking. So connected, The Universe."

We all get stuck from time to time. But not all kinds of stuck are stuck. Some are frozen.

I can't believe in all these years that I've never blogged about Yoda. He's had some very insightful one-liners in the last 30 odd years!

The funny thing about pedestals..... if you put a person up on a pedestal they will have no choice but to look down upon you! John Precor.

"People do not seem to realise that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character." Ralph Waldo Emerson.

I've received numerous emails or voicemail messages which say "sorry, too busy to come for my coaching session today..."

A short one today. I'm sitting with my inner hippy.

Last week, I attended a Yoga class for the first time in my life. This is me doing the downward facing dog..... not.

Busy being successful? Or busy being happy?

I set myself a task to write blogs today. Housework is starting to look attractive, now that I've exhausted the internet...

A recent note I received from The Universe:

"When the external begins to define the internal, Meriel, instead of the internal defining the external, one begins living as a mortal rather than as a god. Trust me, as a god is better. Boom.... The Universe."

Don't judge me until you've walked in my shoes! Often said, often heard. 

They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you that practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds. Winston Churchill.

Vicky Pollard. Hilarious and horrifying creation of Little Britain.

I was recently introduced to Tony Robbins' work around the Six Human Needs. I thought it was worth sharing with you.

I'm a bit of a romantic, and often have all sorts of romantic fantasies (no, not in that way) about my life. It's not just a case of dreaming though, I manage to create and set expectations of how I want things to be. That's okay, isn't it?

Have you truly considered having the life you want? Or perhaps what I should ask is, have you considered being the real you?

I've just been listening to the writer Tony Jordan being interviewed on Radio 2 this morning about The Nativity, and in particular, Joseph's story.

No one ever regrets raising the bar, Meriel, ever, ever, ever. Scare yourself, The Universe

Uh-oh, it's Halloween! Is your house full of bowls of sweeties to give to the Trick or Treaters? 

I work within the health and fitness industry, and with some sportspeople. When I tell them there's no such thing as failure, only feedback, they dismiss the statement as a platitude. In their world, failure is not an option!

Why oh why do I answer my mobile phone when I don't recognise the number??

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. Dr Seuss.

The only person who should ever have to live by your standards, Meriel, is you. Let everyone else off the hook.

Carpe Diem. Seize the Day. Make your life extraordinary.

No, this isn’t a blog about dodgy SatNav directions or wandering into a room and forgetting what you went in there for. I’ve noticed how many of us lose ourselves, our own identities, when trying to please others or make relationships work.

Have you noticed how often revenge is a theme in TV programmes or in books? In fact, there was a whole TV series about it recently, which I confess became one of my guilty pleasures.

Seeing the world through someone else's eyes isn't always easy. It is always very revealing though.

How is your smiling going? Are you 793.7% more attractive yet? On reflection, what have you noticed that's standing in your way from smiling?

You were not given talents to impress people. You were given them to help people. The Great News?  You are a STAR and you are a celebrity in someone’s life!  You have the power to be the star of someone’s day and influence his or her path. 

I love my notes from The Universe. They help me focus on positive things and also remind me of what's really important in life.

In tech speak, that'd be 'connectivity' or more simply, what binds us together.

I began by thinking about 31 October and Halloween. Here's how I ended up with 'connectivity'.

I regularly stand in front of my wardrobe and tell myself that I've got absolutely nothing to wear. But my wardrobe is full. What's going on?

The summer holidays are drawing to a close. Hopefully most of us have spent some time during the last seven week break being able to relax, recharge, and recreate?

I recently returned from a lovely week's holiday in Brittany, France. It was a family holiday, so had the usual competing needs and agendas. 

Got any scars? Most people have a few, and each one tells an interesting story. Over time, our bodies become road maps, with lines joining up marks and blemishes, our various destinations.

We are taught to think logically, aren't we? How often is the phrase heard 'think it through, logically'. It's become so hard-wired as a behaviour for me that it's actually a constraint. And I don't like constraints, they are limiting. So in praise of lateral thinkers everywhere, here's a story from the Swain archive which demonstrates the power of lateral thinking. Oh, and it's also quite amusing.

Oh yes, you’ve got to have a plan, haven’t you? Is there a time in our life when we are encouraged not to have a plan? School plan, exam plan, study plan, savings plan, workload plan, wedding plan, project plan, business plan, financial plan, pension plan, funeral plan, plan, plan, plan, plan. At this point in my musings, Monty Python has popped into my head. For Plan get Spam. If you fancy a giggle, remind yourself about spam and how it was everywhere in the 1970s with this Monty Python sketch.

The saying goes ‘it only takes one bad apple to spoil the barrel’. Like many of us, I’ve come across my fair share of bad apples in my time. I’m speaking figuratively, of course, about the co-worker or team member whose mission in life is to infect those around them with their negativity.

This week, some of my clients have been sharing their frustrations with me about not being quite where they imagined they'd be, whether it's in their plan, or more generally in their life.

I follow various blogs and tweeters, folk who inspire me. One of my favourites is Mike Dooley, who writes as The Universe. I receive regular insights from his posts, and here's one which landed in my inbox not long ago:

"A little known secret concerning life in the jungles of time and space, Meriel, is that however far you reach, you will go farther. However great your dreams, they will be grander. And however much you love, you will be loved much more. We call it the Law of Increasing Returns. Love you much more, The Universe." 

I was thinking about January, the first month of the year. Named after Janus, the Roman God of beginnings and transitions, of gates, doors, doorways, passages and endings. He is often depicted as having two faces, one for looking forward and one for looking back.

Who has heard of Mike Dooley (aka Notes from the Universe)? In a nutshell, he heads up an Adventurers Club, Life being the adventure in question.

I find the Notes I receive on a regular basis really resonate with me and from time to time I share them with you.  I usually blog about resolutions, new habits, motivation etc at this time of year but this time I'm going to do something different. 

My true friends, those with whom I enjoy an intimate friendship, I can count on the fingers of one hand. They are the people I know who will love me, come what may, and who want the best for me. And that is totally reciprocal.

"Each blossom still blooms in its field; each child still clutches your hand; each friend still lingers in your heart. And that is where time goes. Forever young, The Universe."  One of the regular messages I receive from The Universe (aka Mike Dooley). 

Turning fifty has been one of many reflective moments in my life. Where has it gone? How will I fit it all in? And so on. 

Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr, fantastic movie :) What happens when a group of soldiers are stationed in Hawaii waiting for America to join WW2.

As I'm writing this, I am myself in a Waiting Place. I'm waiting in the customer area of my local Mini dealer while the service team correct a minor problem with my car. It's very comfy here, with wi-fi, fresh coffee, sofas and muzak. Thankfully I have my laptop with me and am able to progress a number of initiatives, and move forward with my day. So I'm not in THE Waiting Place.

Imagine your brain is like a house - upstairs, downstairs, living room, kitchen, bathroom etc etc. Choose your house design and furnish it. Now take it forward in time, you've been living there a while and you've accumulated a lot of stuff. So much in fact that you are finding it hard now to move around your house. Often you move stuff from the main house into the attic, and the attic becomes more and more full. One day you open the attic door to climb into it, and you can't. And that means you also can't get in to the attic to take stuff out of it. 

Last night I watched The Wolf of Wall Street. I had a smile on my face from beginning to end - and it's nearly three hours long! Apart from being the most hilarious, raunchy and hard-hitting tale of dodgy finance deals, it is an immensely powerful allegory about what you can achieve with self-belief.

If you've been following my blogs (thank you :)) you will know that I am working with a personal trainer and nutritionist, and am lighter, leaner, fitter and happier than I have been for years. 

In my last blog I talked about the laws of attraction, and I'd like to head off down that avenue again, although down a little offshoot branch.

I have been working with an adult literacy charity: it provides one2one tuition for adults through a network of volunteers. Have you ever considered what it would be like to be unable to read, the impact that would have? Take a minute. 

When was the last time you went to a Dance? I recently asked this question to some of my co-workers, and they all looked rather blank. The general consensus was 'not since school', or 'is that the same as a disco?' and in particular the men said they avoided dancing at all costs. 

How are you doing? It's the end of February, which is often described as the most depressing month of the year. How is your state of mind right now? How did you get on with your New Year's resolutions? What lies in store for the rest of the year? What do you want to achieve? What do you think you ought to achieve? Are you motivated?

It's now a month since we all made our New Year Resolutions. How are you doing? Are you sticking with it? I know I wrote about something resolution-related this time last year - don't worry, I'm not going to do it again!

Or I suppose 'old habits die hard'. 

It's New Year, and we are sloughing off the old skin of 2013, and starting 2014 all shiny, new and buffed up (and possibly hungover, but that's just for today). 

I've noticed that when I am really focussed on something I enjoy doing, that time races by, and I appear to lose myself. It's a wonderful feeling, glancing at your watch, and realising that time has leapt forward without you noticing. Shortly followed by the 'gosh, where did that time go' feeling. It's a conundrum isn't it - personally I don't want life to rush by without my enjoying it, but the more I enjoy it, the faster it seems to go.

So, today it's Halloween, the day when the barrier between the worlds of the living and the dead is at it's thinnest (so we are told) and the souls of the dead walk among us. In years gone by, people believed that if they put on different clothes, or fancy dress even, it would protect them from the soulds of the dead. And this is perhaps where the modern practice of dressing up and going Trick or Treating comes from. 

Today is a dear friend's birthday, and it started me thinking about friendship. I count myself amongst the very lucky, and have lots of friends. Each of those relationships is unique, and each has it's own level of emotional investment on either side.

absolute pleasure...." as the song goes. Rocky Horror fans among you will know which one I mean!

My mother recently had a very significant birthday. In the run up, I spent ages trawling the internet for gift ideas. As far as I can tell, she has everyTHING she needs. She may also have everyTHING she wants. So, what THING do I give her?

While I was thinking of a title for this post, I recalled an advert from my youth for a certain brand of toothpaste, which had a strapline about 'a ring of confidence'. Actually, it's quite relevant to this post.

This morning, my mobile phone died. It's a Smart phone, I've had it for a couple of years now and I'm three months away from being able to upgrade it. Thankfully I had backed up the contents on an external source. But it does connect with my calendar on Google, meaning I can make appointments on the go, and always know where I'm supposed to be.

I'm sure some of you are old enough to remember those immortal words, whether you were by the radio for Listen with Mother or in front of the TV for Watch with Mother. Those few softly spoken lines caused children across the UK to sit still, relax and listen. I remember them well, as a very small child, beginning the 15 minute interlude of calm in the day when I sat with Mum, and a nice lady told me a story. 

Communal changing rooms, love them or hate them? On the plus side, there's lots of room to get (un)dressed rather than in tiny cubicles. On the minus side, other people might see you naked!

When you are starting your own business, Invest to Save is a phrase which is often used to describe one's early activities. You put a lot of stuff 'out there', offer freebies, network like crazy, and eventually you will get something back in return.

I have three elder siblings, and last summer they all came to stay with me for a few days. We all get on really well, and appreciate many of the same things, despite the fact that I am the 'afterthought' and am nearly 10 years younger than the next one up.

Okay, so it's the New Year. We are two weeks in. How many of you are still on the diet, given up smoking, haven't touched a drop or are in the 'chocolate is soooo yesterday' zone? 

More importantly, how many of you aren't? 

I am sure there are many of you out there, like me, who are self-employed and working from home. Making the transition from employee to self-employed is quite a challenge, especially getting one's head around being able to work when and where you want, rather than the prescribed Monday to Friday between 9am and 5pm. It should be liberating, but it feels strangely weird.

Did anyone else watching the Olympics and wonder why so much emotion was bubbling up? 
Team spirit is a truly wonderful thing.

As if looking for a new job isn’t stressful enough, when you are offered an interview, there’s an even bigger mountain to climb – the interview itself. Anyone out there like mountaineering? It’s like anything else, if you believe you can do it well, you will do it well. All we need to do is create a little confidence and self-belief, and Everest will reduce in size dramatically. 

We all say and do things we regret in the heat of the moment, which can have serious long-term consequences. In my last organisation, we went through a protracted period of change when a number of middle managers were facing redundancy, whilst working with new bosses and still managing teams of staff who also might not have a job at the end of the process.