Posted by Meriel Swain on (comments: 0)
The Laws of Attraction Part Three
About three years ago, I thought I would have a go at a spot of internet dating. It was a disaster, but mainly because my profile didn't attract anyone, so I didn't actually go on a date. I decided to try it again, having spoken to some colleagues who were doing it, and got their tips on the best sites, how to compose your profile, and what to avoid.
A short while ago, I joined a site and put up my profile. I was thrilled to receive invitations to talk and/or meet up. My first serious contact came from a man who didn't have his photo on his profile. I was initially suspicious but as he'd messaged me, I thought I would respond. After a few emails, I asked him why he wasn't using a photo, and the response was that he'd removed the photo as there were so many 'nutters' on the site. I went with it, in the spirit of being open-minded, and we arranged to meet for a coffee in a public place. I won't bore you with the details except to say we didn't meet up. After discussing his pre-date behaviour (which included some questionable texts) with some seasoned internet-daters, their view was 'no picture = married/in a relationship', and 'he's trying his luck to see if you are easy.' God, how depressing. When did we become so cynical?
Putting yourself out there is really very scary. I've blogged about this in the past (Valentine's Day I think) and the act of asking someone to accept you as you are to me is the ultimate act of vulnerability. It saddens me deeply that we have become so suspicious of the motives of others, to the point where we expect them to do bad things instead of good things. Are we back to The Laws of Attraction again here? If I expect that internet dating will be ghastly, then it will be?
I'm determined to keep an open mind, and embrace (pun intended) the act of courting, even if it begins online. Good things will happen.