Posted by Meriel Swain on (comments: 0)

Forgive and forget or revenge and regret?

Have you noticed how often revenge is a theme in TV programmes or in books? In fact, there was a whole TV series about it recently, which I confess became one of my guilty pleasures.

We are highly tuned into equality and justice issues these days. The value of Fairness is all around us. No wonder then that when this value is breached, and the scales tip too far one way, that some of us get hooked on evening out the scales: retribution; reprisal; payback. Call it what you will, it’s all revenge. We’ve all thought about it at some point in our lives, from playground conker matches to marital infidelity.

One of the things the TV series I mentioned above does really well is to portray how all-consuming revenge is. I’ve talked in the past about focus, and how our brains work to filter out unwanted data and show us what we choose to focus on. If you are someone who is currently overwhelmed by the negative emotion that revenge creates, I wonder if you can notice how it makes you feel? Thinking about anything else is a challenge as the way to even the score dominates the consciousness. Stress increases, maybe some heartburn, elevated blood pressure, aches and pains?

I’ve started to wonder about the long term effects of negative emotions on our health, as I imagine you might have done too. I don’t know about you, but revenge strikes me as being particularly toxic in how it can consume a person. I came across this article written in the Huffington Post a couple of years ago which says it far more simply than I can, so I thought I’d share it with you.

Confucius said “Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” Give me a shout if there’s something you’d like to get off your chest and shift your focus onto something more helpful.

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